Let go… the Lord is nudging me gently, often. He whispers for me to let go. And so I have, I do, and I will. Of what? Of all that is not of Him. He has a special nowhere memory just for me and all of the things that keep me from living fully with Him. Guilt, feelings of unworthiness, shame, fear, failures, sadness, loneliness, distrust…..
My fisted heart has been clenched so tight, holding on to these lies, that it squeezed so much life out of me. Not so anymore. I have opened my hands, heart to my ABBA, my daddy. Just like any loving father, He has taken my burden and filled me back up with gifts greater than I could have ever imagined. I have emptied myself of me, and allowed Him to fill me to overflowing. And it has only just begun.
My numbed heart has been massaged back to life. He is so gentle like that. No paddles for me, shocking me back to dwell among the living. No, he has wooed me, romanced me, provided for and protected me. He has shown me how much he loves me, and has opened my eyes even wider for the magnificent beauty that swirls all around me. He asked me to dance, and I said “Sure, why not?” Ever so gently, Jesus has led me onto this dance floor of life, and we dance to the sweetest music one can conceive. Life with HIM! Fully present in his arms, I am fully present in his love. And now my answer to dancing with him is “YES, OF COURSE!” Most of the time, anyway.
I say most of the time, because sometimes dancing is tiring. At times, I just want to make things too difficult. I allow those things that I have already given to him squeeze between us, and suddenly it is not so easy to enjoy the dance. Because I won’t accept the completeness of his love. I focus on me; the shortcomings I see myself with, and I want to take off the dancing shoes and dress. I look into eyes that pierce my soul, and wonder Why? How? I’m not sure I can accept the face value of his love. There is nothing more, nothing less, yet I don’t always remember.
But how can I not? How can I not put my shoes back on and allow myself to be led back into the most loving arms the world has ever known. That I have ever known. It is amazing love. Glorious love. He plays the sweetest music and is the most fabulous dance partner. His love for me cannot grow, but my acceptance certainly can. I’m saying “YES!”
-With dancing shoes on….